Sympathy for the Devil

Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and ‘taste’….

I think this is a really tough time for Ryan Shawcross and his family. After the horror tackle on Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey, the lanky English defender has gone into deep mental trauma. We, as passionate football lovers, need to stand by him and his family and if possible, his pet kitten, whose legs are paralyzed due to similar harrowing experiences endured by its master.

We, at Arsenal, deeply regret the excessive revulsion shown towards the Englishman, a true son of his mother-land. We take back all the harsh words thrown at Ryan – we understand that those were uncalled for. We would like to embrace the effervescent Stoke defender and share his ‘grief’. His depression, our despair!

On the eve of 27^th Feb, 2010 at The Britannia Stadium, in a moment of ‘inadvertent madness’, our ‘faithful’ son of England decided to split apart one of Aaron Ramsey’s legs. It was understood in the ‘British Media’ that the player was going for the ball but instead went for the leg of the young Welshman, because the latter’s movement was too quick for him. We, at Arsenal, are extremely rueful of the same fact and promise to play at a pace that suits Stoke City and especially Rory Delap’s ‘throwing arms of wonder’. We have even decided to send Theo Walcott to some remote island near Cyprus whenever we encounter Stoke City in the league.

As far as the young and dynamic ‘foreigner’ Aaron Ramsey goes, an operation has taken place and his legs are ‘in place’. He will be brought back to London and further medical inspections will be completed. He won’t be able to play football for the next eight months, but will get a welcome break from his demanding schedule. On the other hand, the ‘awfully distressed’ Shawcross, who has been selected for England duty, will have to report to Fabio Capello within a few days. Ryan Shawcross, a paradigm of ‘peaceful existence’, who incidentally also tried rupturing Arsenal’s Francis Jeffers’s leg three years ago, won’t get a minute of solitude, where he could wash away the ‘apprehension’ inside him. Is that justice? NO, it isn’t!

We, as responsible football fans, are needed to stand beside the ‘Englishman’ in his hour of profound agony. Let us close our eyes and observe a minute of silence, while trying to recollect that moment when Ryan Shawcross’ reckless yet ‘unintended’ tackle gave the in-form Welshman Aaron Ramsey a new ‘life’.

Amen.

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